Jump
by xxxTwilightForeverxxx
Summary: Bella's life without Edward New Moon she decides to take drastic action... Rated T By the way I suck at summaries... Enjoy! Complete xxx
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer owns all._

This chapter is Bellas approach to her jump.

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I stared up at the daunting rock face and closed my eyes, breathing in and out slowly, before willing my feet to propel me forwards

I stared up at the daunting rock face and closed my eyes, breathing in and out slowly, before willing my feet to propel me forwards. During my drive over to La Push I had still been undecided, wrestling with my own indecision of whether or not to go through with what I'd planned.

My feet stumbled on a few uneven bits of pavement as I climbed the steady height until I reached the plush green grass of the summit; I pulled my shoes off of my feet for one last feel of the soft grass. I approached the edge and closed my eyes, concentrating on only my breathing, calming myself before I made a rash decision, though I knew it was the only way.

I felt the wind brush my hair away from my face and I uncurled my arms from around my waist, the hole still there, but I was unaware of it, peaceful and calm, the ocean waves weaved their sounds to my ears.

Okay, I know suicide is a bad option, but when my life's been destroyed, I don't care. Only now can I feel at peace. Dying will either stop this painful existence forever or wipe away every memory I have of him. Life didn't mean anything to me. Not anymore.


	2. Get Ready

Still don't own Twilight ... Unfortunately...

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I braced myself as I took another step forward, allowing myself to see over the edge out to the vast blue ocean, ready to jump when I heard the one voice I knew I would, soft and velvet yet harsh with anger he spoke

I braced myself as I took another step forward, allowing myself to see over the edge out to the vast blue ocean, ready to jump when I heard the one voice I knew I would, soft and velvet yet harsh with anger he spoke.

"Bella, don't do it." I smiled at the sound. I could be anywhere in the world and the one thing to make me come home again was him.

"Why not?" I answered aloud staring up into sky and taking another deep breath in then closing my eyes once again. "Life is…" My thoughts flew back to the past few months and I winced. "Life is bad now. I can't live it."

"Please," the voice begged, but it was nothing I hadn't heard from my hallucinations before.

"You don't love me, I can't live. If you still loved me I wouldn't be in this much pain." The hole ripped itself open again and one of my arms flew to calm it, bringing my thoughts back to the happiness after my oncoming demise. "I need this." I pleaded.

"I do love you, Bella."

The words echoed around in my head, torturing every aspect of my memories, tainting them until they were the only things that I could think of. My imagination had gone too far this time. More proof that I was crazy. I doubled over in pain and clutched my chest, begging the hole to close.

I fought to my feet and staggered to the very edge again.

"Bella please, no!" The voice begged.

"Too late." I bent my knees ready to make a clear jump off the edge, Id thought about it and I'd rather not smack every ledge of the cliff on the way down though that would be one way to get the job done. Suddenly, a car horn beeped behind me, and I hadn't remembered anyone being up here before, so I turned, my hand raised against the sunlight, squinting my eyes and saw an unmistakable figure standing there, gleaming in the sunlight, most of him was covered in clothing, which was hardly conspicuous for this type of weather, but I could still see his shine from his bare hands and face.

His face… It was the best thing about my hallucinations, though his eyes were a coal black instead of the ochre my mind normally made my Edward. I looked around, seeing that the beep had only come from a few La Push kids messing around and they weren't even looking in my direction, luckily. In a town like Forks news spread fast and I didn't want anyone to know I was up here, especially not Charlie. Edward was still staring at me and he looked as though he was being cautious, my mind had definitely snapped. I'd pushed it too far and it had snapped.

"Bella, please." He opened his arms wide, beckoning for me. "Come here."

"I-" I began, confused, he looked so real, yet he'd never be here. I'm not worth him. I'm not worth anyone. I stared up into his eyes and thought back to the time in the words…

"_Bella, I'm leaving." _His face flashed in my mind.

"_You… don't… want me?" _

"_No."_

I screamed, clutching my chest, I'd never allowed myself to think back to then, never and now all I could think of was that. "No," I fell to the floor, hard and pulled myself into a foetal position, clutching my chest, when I heard a deafening crack beneath me and then felt something crumble. I looked over the edge as tiny pieces of chalk fell to the ocean, making tiny waves in circular patterns around them. It was then I realised the cliff was crumbling. At first, I was scared, the long drop to the bottom seemed endless… Then I realized it was exactly what I wanted and braced myself ready for the fall, whispering the words that had pained me so much.

"Edward, I love you."

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Sorry for the cliffhanger, will update tomorrow (hopefully) xxx


	3. Always Trying To Forget

Edward POV

A groan seeped through the corner of my mouth as I watched the sun rise signalling for another day. It wasn't just another day; it was another day without Bella. "Argh!" I hated thinking about her, soon I knew I would die from the agony, or at least I hoped I could die, otherwise I know I wouldn't be able to live. The pure agony of the memory of her hair, lips, eyes…. It was all I could do to live through a minute let alone a day.

I rolled over; I'd gotten myself a bed. It was weird the things you miss when they're gone, for a hundred years I'd never once craved the comfort of a warm mattress, but now it's all I wanted. I could wrap myself up in the in the memories of Bella, for a minute I'd forget… For one minute a day I could think I was there… The memories of the scent of her skin still fresh in my mind, torture, or joy, take your pick.

The curtains lay open and the sunlight streamed in allowing my bare chest to glint in the warm rays. I lay my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes, humming a tune by Simple Plan in my head, trying to forget. Always trying to forget. My family knew better than to disturb me by now, but it was a sunny day which meant Carlisle wouldn't be going into work today and everyone would be home. Which meant Esme would try to coax me out of my room.

With that I heard a knock on my door, well, more like a tap, three times quick and light. Alice. I rolled over and blocked her thoughts from my head. I just didn't want to know.

"Edward?" She called out loud, questioningly. "Are you gonna come out today?"

My hand moved its way on my bedside table to the CD player that I frequently used, and pressed play, knowing that the song 'Black Holes and Revelations' would come on.

"Fine." Alice huffed before turning away down the hallway. I glanced around my room. It was as bare as possible. I'd thrown out all of the stupid CD's that reminded me of her. Debussy… Who would think that she'd like that? And those Jane Austen books… She had to grow up so fast and I could see that those books were the only things that kept her sane.

God! Stop thinking about her! I groaned rolling over once again and staring straight into my fluffy white pillow. I heard a gasp and I raised my head to the noise. Something was wrong. For the first time in about 6 months, I made my way to the door of my room, opening it a crack just to be able to hear the hurried voices of the people that were whooshing about downstairs.

_I'm a Barbie girl, In a Barbie world…_

_Zehn, Neun, Acht, Seiben, Sechs…_

What the hell is going on? Why are they blocking me? I headed down the stairs towards the living room, immediately my eyes focused on the smashed glass on the floor. Had something happened? No-one was in there, yet I felt like I wasn't alone. I turned around to see Emmett behind me staring at me.

"What's going on?" I asked him searching his mind for any hint, but he was still playing 'Barbie Girl' in his head. I pushed past him and fought my way into the kitchen my mind swirling as my thoughts raced on ahead trying to find a reasonable answer for the shift in atmosphere. As I entered I saw Alice sitting at the kitchen table facing away from me, her posture grew rigid as I entered. Then I looked up at Carlisle, he seemed to be the only one who wasn't blocking me, his calming voice entered my head.

_Calm down Edward, calm down and Alice will tell you._

But it was too late. I saw Jasper move to her side instantly as she groaned quietly and I realized she'd had a vision. Her arm was sliced straight to the bone, but no blood came from it. I knew that there was only one thing that she could have saw that they would keep from me.

"What's happened to her?" I asked, my voice booming in the echoing silence. "Tell me." I was getting more agitated by the second, but I couldn't stay like this, not while something could happen to her. I should never have left, I should never… Wait, what if it's a good thing? Maybe she's found… Someone… I wouldn't blame her. It's what I intended. Maybe my worry may not be needed. I was staring a hole in Alice's back and was wondering if she would ever tell me, when she turned around, avoiding Jasper's worried hands as they reached out to touch her.

"Edward, she's…" She began unsteadily and I saw the stress lines on her face, the worry in her eyes. It wasn't good. It wasn't good. "She's made p-plans to drive to La Push and… And…" She took a deep breath in, even though it wasn't really needed. Then her tiny voice spoke in my head.

_Edward she's going to kill herself._


	4. Soaring

Edward: Um...

Me: Yes Edward?

Edward: Does Bella actually die in this fanfic?

Me: Do you want her to?

Edward: Well...

Bella: EDWARD!

Edward: She's driving me crazy... runs away

Me: I'll have you Edward! runs after

coughs

Bella: Disclaimer. She does not own Twilight.

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My eyes clamped tight as I fell steadily through the air, but it actually felt more like soaring. I guess when you want something so much and you finally get it, it does feel like soaring. I was held tight in a stone enclosure and I couldn't move around much, but that didn't matter. It would all be over soon. I thought of Edward as if my last act of will would tell him how much I loved him.

'_Well, I wasn't going to live without you…'_

'_Maybe I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead'_

'_So what you're saying is I'm your brand of heroin?'_

'_Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.'_

'_Don't be embarrassed, if I could dream at all it would be about you.'_

'_Sleep sweetheart, I'll carry you.'_

With tears seeping from my eyes, leaving traitor lines across my cheeks, I hit the floor, but surprisingly not hard. I could feel the soft, damp grass beneath me and as I opened my eyes the only thing I could see was a pair of dark eyes staring down at me, I gasped and looked around, slowly realizing that I was still on the cliff top. My arms were lying beside me, but the shock had set in and I couldn't move them, I couldn't even move my head. I just continuously looked up into his eyes, aware of them as they looked all over my face. I had only just realized that my breaths were coming out sharp and short.

Edward was here. Edward had saved me. I rolled onto my side and put my hand up to my mouth, coughing hard. He only stared down at me, and then suddenly he pulled me up to his chest and hugged me impossibly tight.

"Oh Bella." He kissed my forehead once then dragged is lips to my hairline. "Thank God you're safe."

I couldn't talk. I couldn't breathe. He really was here. I'd thought he was a hallucination, but he was here and he'd saved me, but he'd leave again and my chest would suffer from an even bigger hole than last time. A hole I probably wouldn't be able to survive, the last one had brought me here. Where would this one leave? I pulled myself away from him gently and brought myself into a tight locked position with my knees to my chest, ready to defend any threatening hole.

"Why did you save me?" I asked in a quiet voice, but I knew he would hear me.

"Do you really think I would ever let you fall?" There was a humorous hint to his voice which I didn't like. It was alright for him to turn up when he felt like it, but I was the one who had to pick up the pieces. I always am the one left behind. I had to show him I was serious.

"Yes." I mumbled defiantly. "Why are you here?"

"Alice had a vision of you, and I…" He paused looking down and shaking his head. "I know I promised I would stay out of your life, but when I saw the image of you in her mind…" He looked back up at me, blinding me with the intensity of his eyes. "I couldn't just let you slip out of this life that easily. I would have followed soon after if you had gone through with it."

"Why?" I asked, my head now buried deep within my knees and my voice barely audible as I began to catch my breath after having stopped breathing when he'd looked at me. After all this time he could still reduce me to nothing after one glare. Talk about dazzling.

"I told you." He sighed. "Do you not remember anything I said before? I know human memories are fickle, but it's only been…"

"I remember _everything _you said before." I emphasized the word and lifted my head slightly so I could see his face over the top of my knees.

"Then why can't you see that I can't live without you?" He questioned. "I told you time and again how much I loved you." The word stung me and I was forced to once again withdrawing my head from the world. "How much you meant to me and you really believed the one lie I told?"

My head shot up from its hiding place and I looked round at him, my hair falling over my eyes. "You lied? About what? Was it…" My chest ripped open. He is such a… He lied about loving me? Is this some twisted vampire game? Or was I just some challenge to him? A new conquest, if he can overcome my smell he can overcome anything. I compressed myself, trying to keep the hole manageable and tiny squeals escaped from my mouth, much like the tears did from my cheek.

"Shhh." He soothed, reaching out and grabbing me, then pulling him towards me and letting me cradle myself in his lap. "The only lie I ever told you was when I said that I didn't want you anymore." He gently touched my hair with his lips. "And for you to believe me so quickly, well that's just your own damn fault." He teased, chuckling slightly and brushing his hands gently along my back until I was completely pliant to him.

"Edward…" I breathed into his chest.

"Yes love." He said, letting me move my face away from his chest, tear stains running like tiny streams moving their way to shore.

"So does this mean you're staying now?" I asked, trying not to let myself hope, but failing in the process.

"Unless you want me to go…"

"No. Never." I complained, clinging to his chest once again and bringing my lips up to his throat, and though Edwards clothing was covering the skin, I still kissed it and tightened my grip around his waist.

"Then I won't go," he answered simply. "I love you Bella."

This time when he said it I let it fill me up, instead of break me down and soon realised that the part of me that was trying to let go, was the part of me that was doing the most harm. Denying I loved him, denying he loved me was the thing that kept me from being happy. He always loved me and I will always love him. I can't ever let go. Not now. Not when I'm so happy.

"I love you, too." I whispered and lent my head up to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. "Forever." I told him against his lips.

"Of course, Bella." And he kissed me.

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I think I'll end it here. But if you want review and I'll see if I can find anything to add, but I'd also love to here any of your ideas, after all Edward and Bella aren't my characters.

R&R!!

Thanks to those who left encouraging comments. Look on my profile for more of my stories. (when I write them) :D

xxx


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